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| Hubster looks good in Yellow |
Do any of you find yourself reflecting on or around your birthday? Since I was too busy this weekend today was spent contemplating the years that have gone by, it makes me FEEL so much.
I am grateful to be so blessed with all that is my today.
Amused to have experienced SO many great times with so many great people... girls nights, weddings, birthdays, family reunions, holiday parties, night clubs, belly laughs, shenanigans, poker, slumber parties, high school dating, cruising, travel... so many moments worth remembering, talking about, and laughing all over again.
Love- my family.
Baffled by some of my larger life choices, some relationships, education, career... Are there things you would do differently?
My heart swells with both sadness and ridiculous levels of happiness while remembering the very foundation of my life, my parents.
I am wistful thinking of the what ifs, missed opportunities, self doubt, wrong choices, which I DO realize all made me who I am today and all that jazz but yeah...wistful.
As I reminisce about me as a child this is where I go feelings wise; fortunate not of the wealthy variety but of the loved and part of a village variety, liberated by being told I can do anything I chose to do...not that I have...but that's totally my bad, devoted much of that village is prevalent in my life such as aunts, uncles, brother, sisters, cousins, family friends...etc, impatient with myself, I wonder exactly when introspection came into my consciousness? I tend to act or speak now and think later kind of person. Why wasn't I more self aware, more forward thinking, more honest with myself?
I am profoundly amazed at the friendships I have made and maintained for significant lengths of time with such phenomenal people. Truly amazed...consistently.
I feel alive this time of year. Brisk air, vibrant colors, all around fall-ness...I am moved!
Where there is family there are traditions and expectations, roles to maintain, a feeling of camaraderie, to belong, one of many, those from whence I came, kind of vibe, and I dig it.
I have been in a transition period this year so there is an ever present vulnerable/slippery slope which seemingly walks hand in hand with any abstruse life turn-about. This may be the root of the wistfulness...
There is hope above all else. With abstruse- vulnerable- turn-about- slippery- slope-iness comes great opportunity for personal growth. The possibility of finding a truth that is the basis of what you are to do, to be, to set free... Last feeling I care to share for today is proud to be seeking the truth of it all. What's your true happiness, your to do, to be, to set free?
Peace and Love,
~shelly